Matchmaking at Hogwarts
by Girl Without a Life
Summary: The Tunes are three sisters from America. They know nearly everything about everyone at Hogwarts and are ready to be sure that things aren't too dull. Prepare for mischief, mayhem, and matchmaking. HHr, RLL, DG Rated. T for Language and Suggestive content
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- HELL-LO-O! I do NOT own Harry Potter. Though. I wish JK would lend some of her characters to me. But, I'm not naive.

A/n- Ok. Erm Before I start this story, know that.

A) My friends and I are the Tune sisters. B)We actually live in America. C)Overly Emotional Pregnant Men are inside jokes. And D) My mind is in the gutter.

ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter 1 New arrivals.

"Welcome new and old! Before the start of term notices, we must sort our transfers. Welcome, from America, Mari, Mellosa, and Cassandra Tune." Dumbledore said.

My sisters and I walked on to the platform.

"Mari Tune!" Mc Gongall yelled. My sister sat down and had that shabby old hat placed on her head.

"Slytherin!" it yelled. I already knew Slytherin was the house all three of us would be in. I had my reasons.

"Mellosa Tune!" My sister walked to the stool.

"Call me Mell, pplz" she yelled.

"SLYTHERIN!" it yelled once more.

"Cassandra Tune!"

" Call me Cass." I replied, coolly.

"Slytherin!"

"No. Really? I _never _would have guessed." I said sarcastically.

We sat down at the only clapping table.

"Boo!" Came from the table at the opposite side of the hall.

No one insulted Cassandra Alindro Tune. Unfortunately for me, I was the one with the hot head.

"GO TO HELL!" I yelled while giving them a rude gesture with my hand.

"Miss Tune, that's quite enough." Dumbledore said.

"Cassie, was that really necessary?" asked my oldest sister, Mari.

"They deserved it, the a"

"Cassie, watch your mouth" said my other sister. She was very rude, interrupting me like that.

"I don't give a damn. You've said worse."

"You've got spunk. Be careful when you use it." Said a blonde haired boy.

"You're an ass. Be careful when you use it" I retorted.

"heh. What year are you three in?" he asked.

"Sixth."

"Sixth"

"Sixth." Each of us replied.

"Triplets?" he asked.

"Hell, no." said Mell.

"cousins?"

"sisters" I answered.

"huh?"

"They're nine, ten months apart."

"And you?"

"I skipped"

"And you aren't in Ravenclaw because?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." I said. "oh, and when you're talking to a person, they like to have you're full attention. So stop ogling over Red at the arse table."

" I am not staring at Gin—Weasley!"

"Haha! You were about to say 'Ginny'. No to mention she's like your 5th cousin!"

"Draco, darling, why are you talking to this…. Is that a girl?" asked a pug faced person.

"Look. I haven't had the best day. So why don't you leave?"

" Are you talking to _me_?"

" Do you see any other pug-faced bitches around here?"

"UGH!"

"Don't mind Pansy. She's the school slut."

"hehe. Nuh-uh. Pansy. I know the truth. Hehe. Don't think I won't use it." I said.

"Truth?"

" She's still a virgin" (A/N I'm not sure if she actually is a virgin. But to tell you the truth, I don't think anyone in their right minds would do _that_ with _her_ )

"Really, Pansy?" he asked.

She stormed off.

"Answered your question, Malfoy?"

" How'd you know my name?"

We took out a bag and pulled a bunch of notebooks out of it.

"We make it our business to know everything." We said.

"Now…."

"How'd you like…"

"…..for us to …"

"…Hook you up with…"

"…our 6th cousin…"

"….Ginevera Weasley…?"

"Yes. We're purebloods."

"Really?" He asked.

"Our parents weren't married but yeah."

"Sghnkluos Shogmack"

"Cass, Don't eat with your mouthful."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- You must be really dense to think I'm any where near as ingenious as JK Rowling. I wish I owned Harry Potter. I'd be rich!

Chapter 2- Draco's goin' CRAZY!

Draco's Thoughts.

Who the heck were those girls? That one's got a mouth. Hehehe. I wonder what kind of hair dye they use. It must be a really good brand.

Great Hall

Draco was picking over his food until a loud BANG! Filled the great hall.

"NO! I WANNA GO BACK TO BED! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled the girl with the mouth.(A/N cassie)

"SHUT UP!" yelled the others.

"I WANT MY CD'S BACK!" She replied. They continued dragging her to the table. LITERALLY dragging her. She kicked and screamed the whole way there.

"hmph." She stated as she plopped down into the chair.

"Stop being such a wussy!" said the younger older sister.

"MELLY! GET MY CD"S FROM DAD!" She yelled.

" Tried. No can do." Mell replied, plopping a thin, gray box into her lap. "You got to download some new music."

"KUSO! KUSO! KUSO!"

"Now, now no swearing."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"FUDGE OFF MALFOY!"

"What's her problem? " he asked the blue haired girl.

"Basically, she woke up."

"Mari, don't forget daddy dearest took her music."

Silence. Silence. Silence.

"I was meaning to ask you three…. What type of hair dye do you use?" asked Draco who was staring at the girls' hair.

Mell had black hair with streaks of Blue and Red. Mari had completely blue hair. Cass had black hair with red and purple streaks.

Mari spoke next. "We don't use hair dye!" She was OBVIOUSLY offended.

"uh huh. I really believe you."

"I can prove it!"

"Ok. Go on prove it" he said, smirking

"You asked for it. ACCIO SCRAPBOOK!" yelled Mari.

"Stupid….. Malfoy…. Honorary… OVERLY EMOTIONAL PREGNANT MEN!" yelled Cass, standing up on her chair.

"Ok. Who's smart arse who gave her sugar in the morning!" Mari yelled to the entire Hogwarts population. Then she saw him. THE CULPRIT! A freckled faced red headed boy was cowering in the corner.

"YOU!" she yelled, pointing at none other than "RONALD MERRIWEATHER WEASLEY!"

"Oh shit." He said, as she stalked over to him.

"How ARE you ? My beloved cousin who I would just HATE to kill…. On _accident_"

"M-m-m-mari!" he squeaked.

"KILL HIM MARI!" Cass yelled. Damn those sugar highs.

"M-m-mari don't kill me!" he yelled.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" he yelled as his fruit of the loom briefs were pulled over his head.

"RON! YOU LOSER! YOU WEAR BRIEFS!" yelled Mell.

"TIDY WHITIES TIDY WHITIES!" yelled Cass.

"SOMEONE LOCK HER IN A CLOSET OR SOMETHING!" yelled Draco.

"Ronald, I _love_ a man who wears briefs" said Luna Lovegood.

"Did you or did you not hear when I yelled for the whole world to hear that his middle name is Merriweather?" asked a confused Mari. Luna just walked away after giving Ron a VERY suggestive wink.

End Chapter

A/N Yes, I am very random. Thanx to BluBerriRain who was the ONLY person to review. You all know the drill. R/R. BTW- does any 1 know what OOC and Beta is? And don't worry this IS going somewhere. I'm simply taking my time.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer- Not mine. Never was. Even some of the ideas belong to my idiot friends.

A/N- Thanks to Mari Tune for helping me write the last couple chapters.

CHAPTER 3

Severus Snape's Classroom

Melly ran up to "professor Snape' and gave him a hug. Mari did the same. I AM an individual! I hugged him AND kissed him on the cheek. (cass: IN YOUR FACE GARLIES! Mari and Mell: SHADDUP AND GET ON WITH THE STORY!)

"We missed you SO much!"

"Melly! Do you want eveyone to know!"

"What! She didn't tell him Snape's our fa---"

"SHADDUP CASSIE!"

"--THER!"

"Dad-dy.."

"What do you want Cassie?" Said Snape. lol.

"Can you possibly.."

"Make Draco Malfoy..." said Melly

"Have to watch Ginevra's.."

"Detention tonite?" we asked in unison.

Of course he didn't say any thing because...

Low and behold...

Are you ready for this?

**THE WHOLE CLASS WAS BEHIND US AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Silence.**

Some one started laughing.

"You should see the looks on your guys' faces!" yelled Melly.

"Yes now SIT DOWN!" roared Snape.

5 minutes later...

"Drakie- wakie- poo! I'm bored!"

"Pansy Shaddup! Stop whispering in my ear! I'm. NOT. DRACO!"

"Hey you're the mean little girl who called me a bitch!"

"No shit, Sherlock!"

"Sherlock?"

"Listen now and listen good. Draco. does. not. love. you. He. loves. Ginevra."

"Hmph"

10 minutes later...

"draaaco"

"Pansy be quiet!"

another 5 minutes later...

"Melly."I, cassie, whisper.

Nothing

" MELLY!" i whisper again

Nuffink

"FINE! BE THAT WAY!"

Yet another 5minutes go by...

In Draco's mind..

Looking atGinny.

Cassie pops into head.

"You like heryou want to hold her You wantta KISS her You want to Fuc--"

"CASSIE GET OUT OF HIS BRAIN!" yells Mari.

"But it's fun!"

"I'm going crazy" Draco thinks

REALITY!

"Draco?"...

"Draco!"...

"DRACO!"

"HUh?" Helooksup... "EEk! G-Ginny."

"Did you just 'Squeak' ?"

End Chapter!

A/N Really this is going somewhere. I will hook them up soon! I'm just going about it in the most retarded way possible. lol. R/R pplz


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- Not mine.

A/N- Sorry if the grammar sucks majorly but.

Chapter 4

"I got it!" yelled Cassie, jumping up.

"Quiet down!" snapped Blaise Zambini.

"Gods! What crawled up your ass and died?" Asked Melly.

"Now what's your plan?" Mari questioned.

The three girlshuddled together and discussed the plan. Operation: GTTASAP

* * *

Ginny stood scrubbing the cauldrons. Draco stood watching her. And neither noticed three people huddled in the corner.

"_Alohamora_" they murmured.

Two cauldrons snuck up behind them and knocked them out and evil cackling erupted.

* * *

3 AM Great Hall

Draco yawned and rubbed sleep out of his eyes, not noticing the unusual weight on his chest. He opened his eyes. And then he saw something extremely unusual. All he could see was a mass of red. Then something on top of him began to squirm.

A familiar girl sat up, streched her back and let out a loud yawn.

"Dumbledore must have gotten new matresses. They've never been this soft" She muttered and rubbed her eyes. She looked down at her 'matress'. Her eyes widened.

In that millisecond, Draco realized his opportunity to fulfill one of his fantasies. Well, part way. He didn't think she'd agree to _completly_ fulfill his hormone-driven fantasies.

(A/N- hehehe :snickers:)

She was about to scream when...

He slammed his lips against hers mercilessly. This act sent an electric shock down her spine. His toungue grazed the seam of her lips, begging for entrance. Her mind kept telling her _NO! NO, DON'T DO THIS!_ but her body wouldn't comply.

They broke apart, gasping for air.

"What the hell was that for?" she asked only a little louder than a whisper.

"If you screamed, everyone would have found us here." He explained with cool indifference. Though he really wanted to say, "Because I love you; everything about you from your hair to your fear of diaries." But she would have freaked out and probably yelled "STALKER!"

"Oh." She then walked away, a little dishearted.

* * *

A/N- I'm ending it here. Hope you liked it. R/R

A/N- Kay. I'm ending the chapter here. Hope


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